


Precious

by imaginesandideas



Series: Warren Worthington one-shots [5]
Category: X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt, F/M, Heavy Angst, Swearing, a lot of tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-10-30 02:55:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20807366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginesandideas/pseuds/imaginesandideas
Summary: Heavy angst inspired by "Precious" by Depeche Mode.





	Precious

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on my tumblr (@imaginesandideas).

_„You’re not talking to me!”_

_„It’s not that easy, okay? Fuck!”_

You were sat on the sofa, your chest heaving while Warren paced around the room. He kept rubbing the bridge of his nose, attempting to avoid your awaiting gaze.

It happened more often in the past month. Him acting hurt but not bothering to talk to you about it, which led to fights.

You knew something was up the moment he’d stopped talking to you about his struggles. You were more than aware of his nightmares and visions that wouldn’t let him sleep at night. Normally he’d talk to you, ask for help, but not this time. He was acting differently, and it was driving you insane.

“_How long is it going to be like this?_” Your expression was sad, though you kept your arms crossed over the chest to hold the confident attitude. Even if you’ve lost it somewhere in the process.

“_Like what?_” Warren grumbled. You could see he was fed up with the entire conversation.

_“Us not talking, you avoiding me. You being distressed all the time, and me being the one to get hit for it for some reasons I can’t quite understand.”_

_“Of course you don’t understand!”_

“_Then allow me to!_” You were shouting at that moment, tears threatening to fall any second. It was getting unbearable. What you’ve built with Warren was being crushed and you didn’t even know why. Therefore, you couldn’t even put it back together before everything would fall to pieces. He stood with his back facing you, his golden curls no longer soft and full of life. Wings were so low they were almost touching the floor, but not because of their weight, no.

After he’s lost his feathery ones, he had to learn how to live with metal blades that replaced them. He hated himself for having them, but you were always there reassuring him that he’s still worthy, that his altered mutation does not define him. It wasn’t an easy process but he went through it, _for you_.

In contrary to the wings, his shoulders were tense, been so for a while now. You haven’t given him a proper massage since he had distanced himself from you, because he simply wouldn’t allow you to.

You couldn’t even recall the last time he’d let you touch him. Or when he’d touch you. Of course, you had tried to get him to relax, but he’d pull back grumbling about how he’s not in the mood, or something about his wings. You were more than understanding, he had to admit that, but everything has its boundaries.

You took a deep breath.

“_You don’t even touch me anymore. I don’t know if it’s my fault, or if I’m no longer attractive to you or whatever your reason is._”

_“_____ please stop.”_

_“I want- no, I deserve to know, okay? We’ve been through so many dark paths but now I cannot even see the road! I don’t know where this is going, and it terrifies me!”_

_“_____ stop!” _

His eyes were red as he suddenly turned to you, tears gathering in their corners. He was no longer silent and if you were standing, you’d probably leave the room crying. He’d never actually shouted at you, not like this.

“_It’s on me! It’s all on me! Always was, always is and will be!_” He kept pointing at his chest while he continued howling. You swallowed a sob. “_I can’t burden you with everything! That’s not how things work, I don’t work like this!_” His voice was shaking, almost as if something inside just shattered releasing bitterness he’s been hiding away from you. “_I’m broken, okay? I’ve ruined myself. I can’t fucking sleep because I think about how I could have done so much better. My shoulders hurt because this load is too heavy. But I can’t drop it on you. It’s **my** load.” _

The tears were cool on your heated cheeks. You opened your mouth but couldn’t even speak. He was blaming himself. Just like he used to do it when you first met. He went all the way backwards and pushed you away.

„_So that’s how it’s gonna go, huh?_” You exclaimed standing up. Wiping tears from your eyes, you let your hectic breathing stabilise and straightened your posture. “_Well, **I wish I could take the pain for you**. But I can’t do that when you’re constantly repelling me Warren._” He was no longer looking at you, instead his vague gaze landed on the floor. „**_I thought we’d manage_**_. I really did Warren. But you still don’t trust me, and I can’t live with that._”

It was only then when he began to realize what was about to happen. His eyes shot up at you, but you were already collecting your belongings. Now it was him who was desperately seeking eye contact, but you’ve had enough. You left the room and he followed you numbly, some sort of ties refraining him from stopping you from leaving. His whole body was like disabled, stiff, as if life had been drained out of it. And in a way it did.

You turned on your heels by the door to meet his blue, pleading gaze. You hoped that he’d say something, make your words go away, but he didn’t. He stood there, mere inches from you, his bottom lip trembling and eyes sunken in sorrow. You took a deep breath holding back another wave of tears.

_“**I pray you learn to trust**. Someone. Someday. ”_

The door closed and Warren could no longer keep himself from crying. Fuck maybe he should have told you. He should have told you about his nightmares, about how he wakes up in the middle of the night devoutly believing that he’s hurt you, that he’s got your blood on his hands. And when you’re there, alive, breathing, he has to stop himself from running away. Because the feeling that his touch alone could harm you, makes him want to abandon everything that he’s ever loved. Just to keep you safe.

He pushed you away and now you really were leaving. That should have given him some sort of peace. But unfortunately loving you made letting go unbearable. And so, while he tried to prevent his further suffering, now he was about to suffer even worse.

Because the one person he didn’t trust, was himself.


End file.
